Questionnaire from the Gods

The Gods would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, They ask that you take a few minutes to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential and that you need not disclose your name or address even if you desire a direct response to your comments or suggestions, since, as you have received this, They are aware of such anyway.

  1. How did you first find out about The Gods?
  • Newspaper _____
  • Divine inspiration _____
  • Television _____
  • Received this Email _____
  • Word of mouth _____
  • Other _____
  1. Are you currently using any other sources of inspiration, security, or guidance in addition to The Gods? Please check all that apply.
  • None _____
  • Lottery _____
  • Tarot _____
  • Television _____
  • Fortune cookies _____
  • Advice columns _____
  • Horoscopes _____
  • Sex _____
  • Self-Help books _____
  • Alcohol _____
  • Biorhythms _____
  • Other _____
  • Insurance policies _____
  1. The Gods generally employ a limited amount of Divine Intervention to keep a balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Would you prefer (circle one):
  1. More Divine Intervention
  2. Less Divine Intervention
  3. Current level of Divine Intervention just right
  4. Don't know
  1. The Gods also attempt to maintain a fairly balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1-5 their handling of the following:
  • Disaster (Flood, famine, war, Sports Upsets)
  1. Dissatisfaction
  2. Poor
  3. Average
  4. Good
  5. Excellent
  • Miracles (Recovery from disease, Heroic Rescues, Sports Upsets)
  1. Dissatisfaction
  2. Poor
  3. Average
  4. Good
  5. Excellent
  1. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of The Gods' service?
___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________

Bless you for completing this questionnaire.
Please email your questionnaire back to survey@lord.god

This was sent to us by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous.
It is a copy of an e-mail submitted to a news group.

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