How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In?

If you are wondering how soon is too soon to move in together, this article was written for you.

If you find yourself in a whirlwind romance and love the honeymoon phase you have in your newest relationship you might be considering the idea to move in together.

But, how soon is too soon to move in, and are you ready to share the same space every day?

We are here with the best relationship advice that will help you determine if you are on the same page and if it’s too soon to move in together. Even the strongest relationships need rational evaluation, so we have some extra tips and tricks that will help you with the decision even more.

So, if you want to avoid unnecessary surprises and love to explore your current relationships, keep on reading and let’s jump right in.

How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In Together – 7 Obvious Signs You Are Not Ready

Changing living arrangements can make or break any relationship, so it’s the best idea to carefully consider all the signs that it’s too early to move in together.

While you might be disappointed to find you don’t really know your new partner enough to share a life, it’s not the end of the world, just a phase you should go through in a healthy way.

Here are some of the most obvious signs it’s not the best time to move in together:

You are moving in together to save money

If you feel like your living expenses would be more manageable if you lived together with your partner you are not doing it for the right reasons.

While it’s true and completely understandable to consider all the advantages and disadvantages of sharing expenses it’s not the best foundation for a long-term relationship.

Money is often one of the reasons why couples fight, so making it the main focus of your relationship and one of the biggest reasons to move in together is not a good decision.

It would be better to communicate openly and wait for a while. This way you can avoid potential bigger expenses and heartbreak after a few months.

You didn’t have an honest conversation about financial goals

Financial secrets are one of the biggest relationship problems most couples face from time to time, and if you don’t know enough about your partner’s plans for the future and financial goals you will end up in the bitter end.

Once you move in together you will share more than the living space, so consider all the factors that can influence your relationship and have a conversation about career plans and other important things before you look for new digs.

It’s not realistic to know all your partner’s dreams and plans, but it’s very important to know what motivates them and how they manage finances.

If you are not agreeing on how money is spent it’s a good answer to “How soon is too soon to move in?”. It’s too soon!

Mature relationships and people realize the importance of money and don’t shy away from conversations about it, no matter how uncomfortable it can be. Even if you know someone for a few months and everything is great on your date nights, you still need an objective conversation about the basics.

You didn’t have a huge fight

At the beginning of most relationships, we tend to see everything through “pink glasses” and underestimate the possible relationship problems. This is why so many people who move in together before the significant fight have issues later on.

While it’s not pleasant to fight with your loved ones, it’s one of the most natural things even if you have a similar mindset.

You can’t agree on everything, and the way you resolve issues and fights can tell you a lot about possible commitment issues and the future of your relationship.

So, before you move in together you should wait for that first fight and see if you can have an eye-to-eye conversation even if you have different ideas.

Bad temper, insults, and unreasonable behavior should be a huge red flag that your partner might not be prepared for the mature and supporting relationship you need.

Loving couples know when to take breaks, and don’t allow negative emotions to overwhelm the conversation. This is why so many licensed marriage counselors insist on therapy before the marriage and relationships move forward.

You are dating for a few months

If you fell in love and got the urge to spend more time together you might be wondering how soon is too soon to move in.

But, there is no simple answer to this question or a guideline that will let you know how many months you need to get to know your partner as well as you know your best friends.

A relationship expert advises most couples to wait at least one year before they consider moving in together. This trial period should give you enough information about how your partner lives and if that is the same way you want to spend your days.

Even if you are madly in love, moving in together is a big deal and all factors should be carefully considered before making any rash decisions. This can save you a lot of trouble in the future and allow you to truly know your partner as your best friend.

You didn’t discuss any future plans

Some couples believe they are in a serious relationship but in reality, they don’t have all information needed to make a rational decision like moving in together.

If your romantic partner is not interested in the future and refuses to talk about plans it’s probably too soon to move in together.

On the other hand, some people who are very emotional and fall in love easily might have unrealistic expectations and exaggerate in making plans for the future.

While it’s beautiful to dream about your life together and imagine all the amazing moments you are going to share, you need to be realistic and assess the situation from all points of view before you make any decisions.

So, before you move all your stuff or invite someone to your own home consider many factors and insist on an honest conversation with your partner.

Someone feels pressured to move in together

It’s normal to feel anxious when you are making big changes, but it’s a red flag if you feel pressured to move in together.

If you are completely honest with yourself, you will always be able to feel if you are with the right person for you or simply someone who happens to come along.

If you just started dating and you don’t know the real them it’s a good sign you need to wait for a while before you make any substantial decisions. It’s important to want the same things but it’s even more crucial to have an understanding that timing is the key and avoid relationship issues in the future.

So, if you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of sharing your life with your current partner it’s a good sign it’s simply too soon to move in together.

You might need more time to evaluate the situation or the said partner is not your match.

You don’t feel safe

Feeling comfortable, loved and safe are the key components to a happy relationship and life together. When it comes to safety there should be no compromises and second chances.

If you don’t feel safe speaking your mind or you fear confrontation, you need to reconsider the plans to move in together.

Even if you have heated arguments they need to be resolved in a healthy way, and you should never feel pressured or unsecured around your partner.

Keep in mind that moving in together will not change their personality, and you might even have more conflicts simply because you spend more time in one place.

So, before you ask “How soon is too soon to move in?” be sure to ask yourself if you feel completely safe with your partner.

Things to Consider Before Moving in With Your Romantic Partner

Every professional relationship coach will tell you there are a few things you need to consider before you ask yourself: “How soon is too soon to move in?”.

Sharing your home and life with your significant other is an amazing journey, but it’s also challenging to completely change your life.

This is why the honeymoon phase is not the best time to decide a couple’s relationship status, as emotions and chemistry often cloud our judgment.

So, if you feel a bit nervous but still want to move in together here are a couple of things to consider that will help you work like a well-oiled machine and increase your chances of a successful relationship and life-long happiness.

Are you on the same page about money?

Your daily life includes a lot of planning and even more expenses.

So, before you move in together it’s crucial to discuss important matters and see whether you are on the same page when it comes to money.

This extensive conversation should include questions such as:

• Sharing expenses
• Rent
• Bills
• Save money
• Important purchases
• Money management
• How to handle switching employment
• Career plans
• Priorities

While this might not be a romantic topic it’s one of the most important conversations to have if you want to avoid future relationship problems.

Money is simply too important in our daily lives to be disregarded, so even if you are head over heels it’s crucial to step off the cloud and have a conversation that will help your long-term relationship.

Did you travel together and tested the living for just a short period?

Every relationship expert will tell you to practice living before committing to the real deal.

This can include spending time together more, going on a vacation, or you decide to simply spend weekends in one place.

This is a great way to get to know your partner better, discover all the little habits they might have, and have a better idea of how your relationship might evolve if you live together.

During these short periods try to be completely relaxed, and don’t put too much pressure on perfection. If you want to see the real results and get to know your partner as you know your best friend you have to be honest and yourself.

Just a short period together can answer the question “How soon is too soon to move in?” and reveal all the potential relationship problems you need to work on.

Do you know your partner’s family members?

Do you know your in-laws and your partner’s best friends?

The most important people in your partner’s life will become a part of your life once you move in together, so it’s a good idea to know them before you make it official.

While some families love their privacy, others form close connections with in-laws and you need to be sure your partner’s family will not cause any disturbance and relationship issues.

Other relationships your partner has will always influence your relationship on so many levels.

This is why before you move in together you should know all the relevant people that might play a significant role in your future.

Do you know your partner’s behavior?

Is your partner a messy person, a clean-freak, or hopefully something in between?

This might not be something you think about when you imagine your life together, but household chores and daily activities can make or break even the strongest relationships.

So, before you start packing have an honest conversation about:

• Chores
• Pets
• Parties
• Sleeping schedule
• Allergies
• Medications
• Temper
• Habits

Again, this might not be a casual conversation you have on your first date, but it’s crucial to know a lot before you make any rash decisions.

While you have your whole life to get to know your partner it’s very important to be clear and on the same page before you move into the same space.

How do you deal with conflicts?

We mentioned before that conflicts and fights are a normal part of any relationship, and while it’s not possible to avoid conflict it’s possible to resolve the issue in a healthy way.

So, if you need an answer to “How soon is too soon to move in?” you might have to consider your fights, disagreements, and the way you resolve any relationship problems you might encounter along the way.

Depending on your character and your partner’s temperament you might need to work on communication first before you make any rash decisions.

Considering life together will bring more opportunities for disagreement you need to be confident you can find a solution without being hurt in the process.

So, can you be completely honest and share your deepest fears, emotions, and thoughts without fear of rejection and judgment from your partner? If the answer is no, it might be too soon to move in together.

This is one of the stepping stones every good family therapist will suggest in professional seasons, so you can be one step ahead of problems and evaluate your ability to work as a well-oiled machine.

Did you discuss future plans?

As mentioned above one of the biggest reasons to reconsider moving in together is the lack of interest in the future together.

But, even when you are truly considering changing your life you need to communicate openly about all the factors that might influence your current relationship.

Have you discussed where you are going to live, how you are going to share living expenses, and what is the plan if one of you has to move for work?

Some things will be resolved naturally and along the way, so you can’t plan every step of your relationship. But, you can get to know the real them and decide if you are close enough and if your partner is the right person for you.

So, dedicate a few date nights for casual conversations about the future and see if you are in a similar mindset when it comes to your plans.

Are you in a committed relationship?

It’s easy to get swept away by chemistry and emotions at the beginning of the relationship and you might think this is the best time to move in together, but it’s actually the opposite.

Relationship expert suggests couples should date for at least one year, and be in a committed relationship before they make any major decisions and changes.

This should be enough time for you to get to know your partner as your best friend, meet the important family members and discover if the way your partner lives suits your lifestyle.

On the other hand, it’s not recommended to prolong the dating period for too long as the situation might lead to poor decisions and you can even feel pressured to move in together just because you are in a relationship for a long time.

Every couple is different, but you can always find a balance and realistically evaluate your partner’s behavior before you make any suggestions or decisions.

Being in a committed and comfortable relationship can make the change of the living space less nerve-wracking.

How to Move In Together without Stress?

If you already know the answer to “How soon is too soon to move in?” and you went through our suggestions about the things you need to consider before you move in together, but you feel like you are ready there are a couple of ways to make this transition less stressful.

After a couple of honest conversations, and with our relationship advice you can make the process of relocating a fun and enjoyable activity you will remember for a long time.

Every couple’s relationship is different, but there are a few ways to make your future more comfortable and easier.

This way you will have a strong foundation on which to build your happiness.

Here are a few suggestions to make the moving in together going smooth and without stress:

• Practice living togetherOnce you decide you are ready for a bigger commitment and you want to share a life together you can take a few days to practice.This can be a great way to see how your partner lives and if you feel comfortable spending a lot of time together.It’s also a great opportunity to discuss some habits you might have and compromises you need to make to accommodate the other person in the relationship.While nothing compares to actually living together it’s a good idea to give it a “test run” and see how close you can get.It can make your bond stronger and give you the needed confidence for the next big step.
• Consider the influence of other relationshipsTalk to your partner about the people who are in your life all the time.If you know your partner’s family and friends it will be easier to move in together and move on with your life as if nothing has changed.Leave enough time to get to know your partner, don’t rush into decisions, and put added pressure on the already stressful lifestyle we all have.
• Plan household choresIt’s a good idea to have some kind of plan when it comes to running the household and maintaining a clean home.While this might not be a common conversation topic, and a lot of couples assume it’s the woman’s job to maintain the household it’s not a realistic plan in modern society.So, if both partners are working and contributing then it’s only logical for both to share the load of household maintenance.Some experts suggest making a list, but it’s enough to be on the same page when it comes to responsibilities and sharing.Here are a couple of things to consider:
  • Who is making most meals?
  • Who is in charge of the dishes?
  • Who should throw away the trash?
  • Should you share all the responsibilities?
  • Are you driving and maintaining the same car?
  • Who is in charge of any pets you might have?
  These are fun and entertaining questions that will help you break the ice and get to know your partner even better.Depending on the answers you can make compromises and deals that will help you smoothly transition into life together.Some people love to cook, while others perform better at cleaning. Having an honest conversation about the daily tasks can be ground-braking for your future communication.
• Plan alone timeBeing together is amazing and you might be overwhelmed with the opportunity to spend your life together, but this is also the perfect moment to plan alone time.Although it might sound confusing to talk about your hobbies and habits, it’s also crucial to accept your partner and feel accepted with all the quirky habits you might have.So, avoid future relationship problems and talk about your needs, and ways to have guilt-free time to yourself. This can help you feel more comfortable and at ease, ultimately making you a better partner.This way no one feels pressured to completely change their life just to be in a relationship.You can still be true to yourself and a great partner if you are willing to make small adjustments and compromises for happiness.
• Make a home togetherThere is nothing more exciting than making plans for the future life together, arranging furniture, and moving all the plants into their new home. But, this enthusiastic moment can be overwhelming to some couples so make sure to take it slow and always consult your partner about any changes you plan to make in the new digs.If you feel the same way about most things chances are you are going to agree on decor and design, but it’s always a good idea to make compromises and build your love nest from the ground up.
• Communicate and set boundariesCommunication is the key to successful and long-lasting relationships, so you have to make sure you talk about everything from the start and set boundaries where needed.It’s good to know all the things your partner is used to and some that are completely out of question.For example, some people are not tolerating pets in the home, or unannounced guests. This is why talking about some of those house rules is a good idea if you want to avoid many factors that can influence the course of your partnership.Talk about your needs and preferences, consider the things you are willing to compromise on, and mention the ones you don’t want to change. Although this might not be the most comfortable conversation to have it’s the best idea for long-term happiness.
• Choose the perfect timingIf you have decided to move in together it has to be the perfect timing for both of you. Bein together all the time is not the same as going on a few date nights per week, so make sure you are ready for the commitment.Avoid future relationship issues and commitment issues with an open discussion about the best time to move forward in your partnership.If your partner is not ready, feels anxious, or simply doesn’t want to change living arrangements it’s not the end of the world, it just might be wrong timing.Give them plenty of space to consider a life together and wait for the opportunity where you can meet eye-to-eye for the best outcome.
• Have an exit strategyUnfortunately, not all relationships work out, and even if it’s not comfortable to talk about it in the beginning you should have some kind of exit strategy where both of you feel comfortable and safe to leave.If things don’t work out you should know where to go, and how the situation is going to develop.Don’t dedicate too much time to this negative thinking, simply be prepared that adult relationships don’t always work out, and respect your partner even if you are no longer together.

Final Thoughts

Relationships are amazing journeys and one of the most fulfilling emotions you can have in your life, but they are not purely based on love and passion.

So, if you are wondering how soon is too soon to move in this article can be of great assistance in determining objective reasons why you should move in or wait for a perfect time that suits you both.

Your partner will become your best friend once your lives are completely intertwined and you share everything from financial goals to chores around the house. But, this lovely and harmonious life is full of compromises and conflicts, so you should be prepared to work hard on communication and commitment.

It’s not always easy to determine when is the right time for the next step in the relationship, and if you should move in right away or wait for a while.

Every couple is different, so having a specific time frame that fits everyone is not possible. However, there are a few guidelines we mentioned that should help you make better decisions based on experience and professional opinion.

Moving into the same place will bring all the amazing things that create a strong bond, but also all the small nuances that you might have missed while you were dating.

And while it can be overwhelming to go through all the factors we mentioned, in reality, it’s one of the best and most efficient ways to determine the future of your partnership and evaluate your chances of happiness.

So, before you start packing your bags and ordering furniture online go through our lists and make sure you and your partner feel comfortable with the decision and look forward to this big step.

At the end of the day, this is an exciting and fun period in your relationship that will make you stronger if the timing is right. Thus, follow your heart and always keep communication with your partner as a priority for long-term satisfaction.