Which traits qualify as toxic traits?
Chances are you know a person or two who seem friendly on the outside but leave you emotionally exhausted or even feeling insecure when you get home. You may even have a co-worker, a relative, or a friend of a friend who always seems to know where, when, and how to push your buttons. Is there a conflict between you and these people? Maybe, or maybe they are just toxic. Toxic people are usually toxic to everyone.
A toxic person is oblivious to their toxic traits, but can easily rub it off on anyone, and when you are not careful, they can easily affect your emotional and mental health. So how do you spot them? Look for these toxic traits.
Recognizing toxic traits
Toxic behaviors and traits are damaging to their recipients, both emotionally and psychologically. As a matter of fact, people with toxic personalities find it difficult to establish and keep healthy relationships, for obvious reasons.
Personalities, behaviors, or traits are described as toxic when they can cause psychological, emotional, and physical harm to others (or even to themselves). But how do you recognize these toxic traits, behaviors, or personalities?
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You will know if a person is being toxic if their actions, words, or passive-aggressive behaviors are mostly negative and upsetting. Toxic people love drama, and it is not unusual for them to bring out the worst in people or even traumatize others.
The problem with this type of people is they are unaware of how their actions (words or behaviors) affect others. With that said, the lack of emotional intelligence or self-awareness is no justification.
So what are these unhealthy and toxic traits?
Controlling and Manipulative
Toxic people feel superior over others; they exert their sense of superiority by controlling and manipulating people.
A controlling trait can be as simple as telling you what you should say, think, do, and feel. Oftentimes, this results in dictating who you should hang out with and be friends with.
This is why you often see them intimidate, criticize, or even threaten people when they are pushed back. They don’t mind ignoring boundaries.
And since they only have their interest in mind, toxic people have mastered the art of manipulation. They will go to great lengths just to get things their way. They use various tactics, from lying, guilt tripping to get favors, playing victim, love bombing to win your affection and trust, gaslighting to cause you to doubt yourself, etc. They are control freaks, they will take no for an answer and they will not stop until they get what they want, or change you the way they want you to be.
The interesting thing about toxic individuals is that you may not realize you are being controlled or manipulated by them since they know how to target certain people, particularly the people pleasers.
Basically, they use manipulative tactics to gain control of others and have their needs met.
Have you ever opened up to someone close to you (a friend, relative, colleague, etc.) and felt judged throughout the conversation? Toxic people like to pick other people apart, to them, there is always something to say or do to help “fix” you or “fix your” situation. But instead of actually saying something helpful, they end up making moral judgments and criticizing you and your choices. That is because they believe that their way is the right way, and they have no problems letting you know that. Worse, they make the conversation about them.
They jump to conclusions, and they think you should treat everything they say as gospel. They are not interested in your view or opinions and they will justify their criticisms. Thus, this causes people to have low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and overall negativity about themselves.
Dishonest and deceitful
While everyone engages in some sort of dishonesty from time to time (using white lies to make others feel good, withholding information to protect others’ feelings or for privacy, etc.), toxic individuals lie about anything and everything. They are chronically dishonest and pathological liars (psychological terms).
They often use lies to cover up their previous lies and deceitful and unscrupulous behaviors like cheating. This means they don’t have problems coming up with elaborate and detailed stories, which are often easy to verify and debunk. This is because they will do whatever it takes to convince you that everything they are saying is true. Moreover, they want to paint a good image of them in your mind.
Interestingly, in many cases, their lies don’t always lead to any lasting benefits for them but can be quite harmful to others. Often, if they know their made-up stories and lies are not working, they will gaslight people for not believing in them.
Constantly dealing with people with this trait, say a friend or a romantic partner, can cause you to develop deep trust issues.
Toxic people believe they are far better than others; they feel they are more intelligent and more important than others. Thus, they are condescending and rude; they refuse to listen and take other people’s opinions or criticisms, and they are not willing to collaborate and work with a team.
Aggressive, argumentative, and confrontational
If you often find yourself in a disagreement that feels more like a confrontation with a certain person, to the point where you feel uncomfortable engaging in conversations with that person anymore, then congratulations, you have recognized a toxic trait from a toxic person.
Toxic people are argument seekers. They love confrontations and they constantly seek them, and when they are in it, they become aggressive. Their aggressiveness is often delivered in a hostile and threatening manner. It can be physical or psychological (or both). They have mastered the art of turning the most trivial subjects into disagreements, and they thrive in conflicts. They don’t hesitate on blaming anyone for causing it.
You will know someone with this toxic trait if they easily raise their voice or use threats to get what they want or get you to comply with their demands. This is one of the unhealthy traits that can cause harm both emotionally and psychologically, as it often leads to fear and anxiety.
Abusive behavior is a common toxic trait of someone who wishes to maintain and keep control, power, and dominance over someone or in a certain place or space (home, work, school, etc.).
Examples of abusive behavior include bad temper, using verbally abusive language, extremely controlling, extremely jealous and possessive, unpredictable, and even antiquated beliefs of men and women in relationships.
Gaslighting is the act of doing or saying things that makes you question your sanity, memory, and even your reality. Narcissists and toxic people use gaslighting tactics to control and manipulate others. They deny the truth and put doubt in your head, even in the face of clear evidence. They use sarcasm and passive-aggressive language to undermine and even dismiss other people’s needs, feelings, and thoughts.
Examples of gaslighting include:
• You are remembering things wrong, that is not what I said.
• That never happened. It is all in your head.
• Stop being too sensitive.
• Stop exaggerating things.
• Forget about it, it’s not a big deal.
• Are you sure? You know you have a bad memory.
Disrespectful and rude
Disrespectfulness and rude behavior are two of the common reasons for dysfunctional relationships. They ruin families as they are often cited as common reasons for divorce.
Disrespectful behavior isn’t always shown in words; simply showing up late, disregarding other people’s feelings, refusing to listen, breaching personal boundaries, breaking rules, etc., are all examples of rude and toxic behavior. Toxic people will continue this behavior if they believe you don’t have the self-respect to set your boundaries.
If you ever received an apology from someone, and you ended up apologizing, then you have fallen trapped by a toxic person’s trick.
Some toxic individuals aren’t totally oblivious to their negative behaviors. If they start to notice that people are veering away from them because of their blunder, they will apologize. But the tricky thing is, they can find a way to make it seem like it is your fault for misunderstanding them in the first place.
Inconsiderate and lacks empathy
Much like disrespectfulness and rudeness, toxic individuals are neither concerned about other people’s feelings and opinions. All they care about is themselves. Thus, they don’t care if they hurt someone’s feelings or make other people feel bad about themselves. This is because they are extremely focused on getting things their way. They are unlikely to be accommodating of others, and will never sacrifice their needs for other people’s benefits.
Moreover, they fail to recognize other people’s feelings. They are neither affected nor concerned when someone is upset, angry, disrespected, etc. The worse thing is, they may not even realize what they are doing.
While feeling jealous of other people’s success is normal human behavior, being overly and unreasonably envious is a toxic trait. Envious people are often angry, resentful, irritable, and even hostile. They are less likely to feel grateful for their positive attributes, circumstances, or successes. This is why they tend to be hyper-critical, and discouraging, and often give bad advice that can lead to harm’s way.
While being competitive is usually a good thing (for most things in life), and an essential ingredient for success, toxic people are overly competitive to the point that they don’t mind hurting and stepping on others to get what they want and win.
This trait can turn toxic when it is used to gain superiority over others, particularly in close relationships. An overly competitive behavior can be toxic when it is causing emotional distress to others.
Competitive individuals act this way towards others because of their insecurity – they feel threatened by other people’s success. But rather than lifting themselves up to be better, they prefer to pull others down. They have the unique ability to make conversations about them, and they have mastered the art of highlighting their accomplishments and “greatness”.
Always plays the victim card
Toxic people believe life dealt them a very bad hand, and they complain about it all the time. Worse, they make people around them feel that no one understands their pain and circumstances, or no one cares for them. This is called the victim mindset – and this toxic trait will make you feel they are hopeless and feeble. In many cases, they may even threaten to commit suicide to “end their misery”.
However, all of this is actually just a façade, and it is their way of making people around them feel sorry for them and get what they want, whether it’s emotional, financial, or any form of assistance. They prey on other people’s kindness.
Self-centered and entitled
Toxic people always want to be the center of attention and focus on what they want over other people’s needs or someone else’s feelings. Hence, they feel they deserve a special kind of treatment simply because of their accomplishments, status, position, or success. They are so self-absorbed that they always have a strong sense of need for admiration and validation from others.
They believe that positive things should happen to them whenever they want, simply because they are important.
This is one of the toxic traits wherein a person puts their needs exclusively and excessively over others. They don’t care about other people’s feelings, as all they think about is how they can benefit from others, and they don’t mind pushing their friends and loved ones away just to get that.
Selfish people don’t value other people’s time, and they will show no empathy for you should you dare ask for their help.
Self-awareness is a human trait that allows us to assess our actions, feelings, and thoughts. It allows us to reflect on our words and behavior and how it can affect others. It is like a self-imposed guidebook that causes us to look deep into ourselves to become better, and treat others with kindness and respect.
A toxic person is someone who lacks self-awareness have no problem causing drama. They don’t have a sense of accountability for their words and actions, and they don’t mind hurting other people.
Truly understanding Toxic Traits could mean the difference between great happiness and misery down the line. Find a psychic medium near you today, whether you’re in New York City, Chicago, Utah, Seattle in the US, or somewhere completely different, you can get the expert guidance you deserve. Don’t forget you can also get a psychic email reading at low cost, or try the best online psychic reading sites such as Kasamba, Oranum, PsychicOz, Bitwine, Everclear Psychic and more.
Frequently Asked Questions on Toxic Traits
Q. What is a toxic personality type?
A. Toxic traits are behaviors or habits that continuously harm others. Some toxic traits can be subtle (entitlement and self-centeredness), and some are loud (arrogant, aggressive, argumentative, disrespectful, rude, etc.).
Q. How do you identify toxic traits in others?
A. If someone makes you feel insecure, disrespected, and emotionally exhausted to the point that it affects your self-confidence and self-esteem, then they are exhibiting toxic traits towards you.
Toxic traits range from controlling, manipulative, gaslighting, lying, abusive, selfishness, self-centeredness, superiority complex, etc.
Q. How do you identify toxic traits in yourself?
A. Do you often judge others for their actions and circumstances? Do you use deceitful and manipulative tactics to gain an advantage in life or get what you want? Are you quick to anger? Do you not consider other people’s feelings with your actions? Do you try to intimidate people? Do you often give backhanded compliments? Do you insult other people with jokes? If yes, then you are being toxic.
Identifying toxic traits can be tricky. It takes a lot of mindfulness to be able to recognize your actions and toxic behaviors.
Q. What are examples of toxic behavior?
A. Lying and gaslighting, judgmental, never apologizing, victim mentality, selfishness, self-centeredness, no sense of accountability, and superiority complex are just some examples of toxic behavior and toxic personality traits.
Q. Do toxic people change?
A. Absolutely. People can change, thus, toxic traits can change too. However, first, they need to see their part of the problem and find the motivation to do so. They need to recognize how their behaviors and actions negatively affect others.