What is the difference between infatuation vs love? This is a question that a lot of people encounter as they make sense of their intense feelings, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Romantic love can feel amazing, but how do you differentiate the infatuation phase from real love. It’s important to know the distinction so you can manage your feelings rather than the other way around.
Infatuation vs Love: Which is Which?
The dictionary defines infatuation as obsessively strong feelings for a person of the opposite sex. It can also be acts of interest or despire towards someone else. Meanwhile, love is defined as the warm attachment and admiration to another person that comes with shared values and affection.
It’s important to examine each concept closely so you can tell the difference, if you cannot distinguish it based on the definition above.
Love vs Infatuation: Reckless vs Patient
This is a major difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation is characterized by strong emotions, fueled by physical attraction, lust, and obsession. It’s not a bad thing but love is more about deeper intimacy and affection involving two people.
Infatuation is something that can happen overnight such that a person who has these feelings associates it with obsessively strong love. Meanwhile, love will develop slowly but gradually as you get to know a person a little bit more.
Love vs Infatuation: Enduring vs Fades Easily
Due to the nature of the feelings, infatuation vs love is distinct from each other based on how stable those emotions are.
Infatuation comes quickly and can go away just as fast. It tends to be reckless; it can make you behave in ways that you normally wouldn’t. As a result, an infatuated individual can be easily turned off by something irrational. It will quickly kill the desire that they have towards a person just as easily as it develops.
On the other hand, love is about the long term commitment. It can endure even when things go wrong. There might be issues in the relationship but the deep level of commitment allows you to push through these challenges. You can’t turn off those feelings like a switch.
Love vs Infatuation: Physical vs Emotional
Infatuation is physical. Sex can be a crucial part of the relationship as the person is consumed by lust and desire. However, it does not just refer to the physical intimacy. A person who is deeply infatuated is also manifesting physical symptoms such as constantly thinking about someone, causing your heart to race at the thought.
Love is different because it is also about the emotional bond. While physical intimacy is important in a loving, healthy relationship, it is more than that. The romantic love is formed through spending time together, shared values, and affection.
Love vs Infatuation: Stable vs Possessive
When you are infatuated with someone, you are consumed with passion. These passionate feelings can turn into an obsession if you don’t know how to manage your emotions. There is a sense of constant craving for your object of desire – the person with whom you are infatuated with. If you can’t stop thinking about this person, it can easily become intoxicating and you turn into a possessive individual.
When you are in love, your feelings are stable. It took time for those feelings to develop, so you can expect that a real relationship founded in love to be more enduring. It is calm and steady. This is also part of the reason why romantic love between two people can survive the worst storms in their relationship. They stick it with each other through the highs and lows. In addition, a person who is truly in love will be confident in the affection of the other person towards them.
Love Brings Out the Best in You
Love is a good foundation for a real and healthy relationship. This is a primary difference with love and infatuation because love inspires you to become a better person. It teaches you about patience, compromise, and selflessness. In a relationship bound on true love, there is a commitment to put the other person’s needs and happiness before you.
Infatuation is different and can result in something that is the complete opposite. The passion and obsession can interfere with your ability to make rational decisions. An infatuated person tends to react based on emotions. In some cases, they act on impulse and may tend to go against the better judgment.
How does infatuation bring out the worst in people? Here are some examples:
• You abandon your friends to spend time with the one you’re infatuated with.
• You begin to neglect your work.
• You get jealous when they talk to other people of the opposite sex.
• You become obsessed that you bombard them with texts and chats.
How to Develop Infatuation to Love
Love vs Infatuation are totally different. However, it is not impossible for infatuation to blossom into real love. While infatuations get a bad rap for not lasting long, the same can be said with love. It depends on the individuals involved and the unique circumstances of your relationships.
The secret to success with turning infatuation into love is your willingness to understand what it takes to make a relationship last and then working on that. Here are some tips to help infatuation turn into true love.
Tip #1: Make a conscious decision to commit.
Love requires commitment. The primary difference between infatuation vs love is in the level of commitment you give into making your relationship work. As the adage says, love takes work and you can’t just wait for things to happen. The moment you decide that you want to start a new relationship with this person, you must consciously find ways to build a deeper connection.
You cannot be content with being physical with each other. You have to talk more and establish an emotional bond. The most important thing is that you feel safe around this person and that you can open up to them about anything.
Tip #2: Be patient with it.
Real love does not happen overnight. Unlike infatuation that is superficial and lasts only for a short-term, romantic love is deeper. Therefore, it requires more of your attention and time. You have to constantly nurture that love for it to grow. Allow it to progress naturally and let time take its natural course.
Tip #3: You must be willing to show love.
It’s easy to say that you love someone. However, you need to be willing to show it. Love is an act and you have to make an effort if you want infatuation to grow into love.
The initial physical attraction is important. To make it develop into love, you must be willing to spend time with the other person, go on dates, and do things that you enjoy together. You must identify your love language and focus on that.
Tip #4: Don’t be afraid to become vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is scary but it is also one of the best ways to form an infatuation love. You must be willing to open up to the other person in your life; sharing stories will bring you closer together. When they see you in a vulnerable state, it is like you are opening a door to a side of you that you’ve never shown anyone else before.
These stories you share of each other are like seeds that you plant that allow your relationship to grow and thrive.
Tip #5: Don’t avoid conflict.
It’s hard to think of conflict when you are in the early stages of a romantic relationship. However, once the infatuation fades, the realities of a relationship will set in. You will start to look beyond the attraction and the desire as you begin to see the other person’s flaws.
If conflicts do arise, try not to block it off right away. You can embrace it and deal with the conflict in a mature sense. Infatuated individuals tend to let their feelings crumble when their feelings are tested. However, your ability to overcome these conflicts will build a stable foundation to a lasting relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is infatuation before love?
The infatuation phase typically lasts between 18 months to three years. A person who has infatuated feelings typically do not last longer than that except in rare situations such as a long distance relationship. After this stage, infatuation turn into something more significant or the person develops deeper feelings.
Can love exist without infatuation?
Infatuation does not always turn into love. Therefore, these two are not mutually exclusive. You can be infatuated and that feelings of infatuation could fade over time. You could also be in love with someone without being infatuated.
Can you be infatuated and in love at the same time?
Yes. However, it depends from one relationship to another. Infatuation is rooted in passion and physical attraction whereas love is all about the deeper emotional connection with your partner. These two can exist.
Is infatuation stronger than love?
Yes and no. Infatuation happens quickly and involves intense emotions. Therefore, it might appear that it is stronger than love. However, love can be stronger and it can last longer if you have a close bond with your lover.
Is infatuation a stage of love?
Yes, infatuation is often one of the early stages of love. A person experiencing the infatuation stage has passionate feelings. Once this stage is over, that is when the realities of a new relationship start to set in. Infatuation is often called as that stage of “falling in love.”
What are signs of infatuation?
There are several signs of that a person is infatuated. A few of these signs are constantly thinking about the other person, intense emotions that drive your decisions, living in a fantasy world with your desired partner, acting irrational or illogical, and easily being jealous.
How quick can you fall in love?
It depends on the individual. Some people fall faster than others. Most people take time before they can develop real feelings. Oftentimes, an individual can fall out of love as quickly as they fell in love.
Do all relationships start with infatuation?
A typical romantic relationship starts with the infatuation stage. Experiencing infatuation is totally normal, wherein you experience intense emotions and desire towards your partner. This is normal in the beginning of a relationship.
Can you stop infatuation?
Yes, you can condition your mind to get over your infatuated feelings over someone. You can do things that distract you mentally and emotionally from someone who you’re infatuated with. It is important to refocus your thoughts and channel it to something more productive.