Can you ever stop loving someone, is that even possible? This is a question that you might not hear often but there are instances when you are forced to confront this question. Anyone who has gone through this heartbreaking situation find it difficult to deal with. As much as you cannot force yourself someone, the same way goes with the opposite situation: you cannot force yourself to stop loving someone.
There are several reasons why you want to end a long term relationship, which you will learn more of later on. It is difficult to break your own love life for reasons that are beyond your control. You don’t just lose feelings for someone over time, especially if you have intense feelings for someone. It’s a myth that feelings disappear overnight, because they don’t.
Here is a reality that you must learn to deal with if you are in this crazy situation: every person deals with the loss differently. Moving forward can happen in a matter of weeks, or months, or years. If you ever stop loving someone because you have to, you need to learn the right coping skills that will help you get back on your feet.
This guide will show you the best ways to face reality again after you’ve had to turn your back on someone you love. You will learn the reasons why you need to deal with your emotions and things you should avoid doing if you ever stop loving someone.
Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone?
You cannot command your heart to feel a certain way towards another person. These emotions develop through time and with past experiences that you share with that person – positive or negative.
That is why it is extremely difficult moving forward with your life without this person, especially when you have been together for several years by the time of separation. Do not be hard on yourself. The situation is hard as it is. Learn to take it step by step because you cannot forget someone overnight or make your feelings go away with a snap of a finger. It’s a long and arduous process.
Reasons to Stop Loving Someone
Stepping out of your comfort zone is never an easy thing to do. Loving someone is the most wonderful thing that you can experience in your life, especially if your feelings are reciprocate in the same way that you give love. Unfortunately, every relationship is unique and so are the individuals involved in that relationship. At one point or another, people tend to show their differences and relationships change. Also, conflicts arise and this relationship can become a dark place rather than a loving support system.
This is why it is better to become a single person than to hold on to a one sided love. Can you ever stop loving someone? There are a few important reasons to ponder on that will help you face reality and step out of your comfort zone.
They Are Toxic
Toxic relationships should be ended the moment you see the signs. When you have a toxic person in your life, they won’t be good for you mentally and emotionally. In fact, you could develop mental health issues as a result of this relationship.
There are several manifestations of toxicity in an individual. They could be abusing you verbally by demeaning you through their words. They could also be seeing an old flame behind your back. Learn to recognize and acknowledge the different types of abuse in a relationship so that you can get out of this toxic situation before it causes more harm.
They Don’t Care For You
It’s not always possible for two people to have equal amounts of love for each other. One will always love more than the other. However, when you love someone, you will be able to show them acts of genuine care and affection.
You can tell if a person does not love you if they don’t care for you, or make an effort to show it. If this applies to your relationship, it is time to stop loving someone and give that love to yourself instead.
They Love Someone Else
This is a tell-tale sign that you must let go of a person you love. If you have an unrequited love in a relationship, there really isn’t anywhere for you to go. It’s one thing that they don’t have the same feelings for you but it’s another if they have feelings for someone else.
You’ve Already Broken Up
If you have previously broken up, there is no point in rekindling that romance. You know that things didn’t work out before so you should not go back to it. This is true when it was the other person who initiated your previous break up.
Could it be that they need you for something so they want you back in your life? Are they really in the relationship for good reasons? Make sure to ask yourself several questions before you commit to going back with them again. Or else you might be better off forgetting that you loved them.
How to Stop Loving Someone
Now that you acknowledge that the decision to ever stop loving someone is right for you, it’s time to do something about it. These are the steps that you must follow to stop loving someone and be on your way to find peace and self growth.
Stop Seeing That Person
Seeing or being with the person you are trying to lose feelings for can make this process difficult. Bank on the saying “out of sight, out of mind” to help you get over that person.
Therefore, you must consciously make an effort to forgetting this person. If you keep seeing them, they will keep reminding you about the relationship that you’ve lost and your intense feelings for them. In some cases, it will also rekindle negative emotions that you associate with that person, which will do more harm than good.
If you want to stop loving someone and start moving forward with your life, it’s important that you stop seeing them.
Accept the Situation and Grieve
People tend to deny or suppress their feelings in this situation. If you feel pain, don’t fight it. Acknowledge how you feel and give yourself time to grieve the situation.
Just because you are in pain does not mean that you are not making any progress in trying to move on from someone. This is why many people with broken hearts end up looking for a new partner because they crave to fill a void in their life.
By grieving, you acknowledge that your feelings take time to develop. You cannot ever stop loving someone overnight. Be okay with the fact that your healing journey is as it should be. Do not try to hurry it up or you could end up sabotaging your own journey.
Talk to Someone
If you need to talk to your friends or family members about your feelings, do it. Talking to someone you trust about your relationship makes you feel open and vulnerable. Hence, you find someone who you trust completely to share those feelings with.
When you talk to someone, it is a way of easing the burden off your shoulders. Let someone share that burden with you. They do not even have to give you advice.
But if you are dealing with serious mental health issues as a result of this transition in your relationship and life, you can seek immediate help from a qualified mental health professional. They can give you informed professional advice on how you can develop the right coping skills.
Look at the Relationship Objectively
When you stop loving someone and leave relationships, it is easy to blame yourself for how it went wrong. Instead of doing this, you have to take an objective view of the relationship.
Analyze why you had to turn your back on this relationship and why it was no longer good for you. Understanding the reasons why it will never work will help you realize that you made the right choice.
Redefine What Love Means to You
It is important that you set the standard for how you define love in a relationship. A healthy relationship involves two persons who love each other and have a healthy balance of giving and taking. If you are in an unrequited love or this person you are with is toxic to your life, then it’s time to move on.
By defining what love means to you, you will never settle for anything less than that. Your goal will be to find someone that makes you feel truly loved or you would be better off on your own.
Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is an important part of moving on if you want to stop loving someone. This is a crucial part of your healing journey, especially if you are in a dark place in your life.
Do something that makes you happy. Find new hobbies. Seek out new experiences. Travel so you can see new places and see the world differently now that you’re single. You can feel pain but don’t dwell on it.
The only way you can find true love moving forward is if you also focus on self love.
Focus on the Future
Moving forward is the best way to facilitate your healing journey after you stop loving someone. When you focus on your future, you don’t have time to dwell in your past experiences.
It does not mean you have to find a new partner, it only means that you must get a new perspective on what you really want out of life. Work on that so that you can become a better version of you.
Create Your Own Closure
You do not need to reach out to this person to get the closure you need for the relationship. If you ever stop loving someone, there are multiple reasons why you had to do this. You can find closure through professional help so you can sort through your feelings and emotions. It’s important that you accept that you are healed from the past so you won’t have to keep turning back and impede your progress.
Spend Time With People Who Care For You
Spend time with people that make you feel truly loved, such as your best friends or family members. These are people who genuinely care for you and want you to be happy.
You should spend time with these people because it is good for your mental health and they can give you emotional support when you need it most. Focus on surrounding yourself with love and positivity.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Living in your comfort zone is good for a while. However, the only way you can become a better person out of this situation is if you use that experience as a learning tool. After you make sense out of your situation, buckle up and try something different.
It is also a great trick to stay away from the places and people that remind you of the person you once loved.
Write it Down
Writing in a journal is one of the best ways to cope with the feelings of hurt in a relationship. Can you ever stop loving someone? Yes, but it can take a while for some people. Writing in a journal can help you deal with your emotions and acknowledge that they’re there so you can move past them.
Things to Never Do
Knowing the ways to ever stop loving someone is good. You must also learn the things you should never do that can sabotage your progress. Here are some of them that you need to know and keep in mind.
Stalk Them on Social Media
You won’t make any real progress in your aim to stop loving someone if you keep tab on them via their social media accounts. One of the things you should never do to heal broken hearts is to follow someone’s activities in life through social media.
Instead, you must block them immediately on social media. This will help fight the urge to check what’s going on with their life and to prevent you from messaging them when you realize that you miss them, or you want to talk. Make sure you cut ties with them completely so you can get over your past and move on with your life.
You can spend time looking for reasons why your relationship never worked, but avoid spending too much time that it’s all you think about. A healthy amount of reflection is good so that you can take your lessons and apply it in the future.
But if it’s starting to consume your life and you develop various mental health issues because of it, you need to learn how to let it go. You have to understand that you can’t bring back an old flame. You just have to focus on the future and what you can do to (hopefully) achieve better results. You can always seek out professional help if it can help you put things into perspective.
Get into a Rebound Relationship
Finding a new partner and getting on a new relationship is a major no-no if you are trying to stop loving someone. Channeling your feelings toward someone because you feel the need to is not the best way to deal with broken hearts. You are only going to make things more complicated in your life.
You also do this new person injustice because you cannot give them true love until you get over someone else completely. Work on yourself first before you enter into a new relationship with a new person. Otherwise, it will create a vicious cycle of unhealthy relationships and relive past traumas.
Holding onto anger is never good. This is very common in relationships wherein one partner loved the other more, or someone was toxic to the point that you develop resentment.
First off, holding resentment and grudge towards another person is not good for your mental health. It only hurts you more than the other person. The best thing you can do is to let go of any ill feelings that you have towards that person even if they remind you of negative emotions.
Focus on yourself and the people that matter in your life. You should spend time with them more so you can foster positive emotions that bring you peace. There is no way for you to heal from your relationships if you continue to hold onto anger and resentment.
Beg Them to Come Back
Finally, you should never beg the other person to come back. You have dedicated the time and the necessary tools to stop loving someone. Do not waste your effort by going back where you started.
The moment you decide that the person brings no benefit to your life and relationships is enough reason to let go. Don’t convince yourself that you can fix them or your relationship.
Final Thoughts – Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone?
Loving someone is a wonderful experience. However, there is nothing noble about loving someone who cannot reciprocate it or treat you right.
Make sure you recognize the signs and reasons to stop loving someone. Even if you did not end up with what you thought as your true love, you can use this as a learning opportunity to improve on other aspects of your life. Or better yet, you can channel that love into someone else who truly deserves it.
Can you ever stop loving someone? While difficult, it is definitely possible. It will take time to heal and overcome that feeling but it is possible if you follow the steps recommended in this guide, and if you seek professional help.
Can you ever forget someone you love?
Yes, it is possible to forget someone you love. If you follow the steps and recommendations above, you will be able to let go of your feelings and overcome the pain of leaving someone behind.
How do you forget someone you love deeply?
It always takes time. You must learn to accept the reality that you can no longer be with someone you love. Once you realize that, it becomes easier to move on and let go of your feelings.
It also helps to shift your focus on something else so you won’t dwell on your emotions and the image of the person you love.
Why is it so hard to forget about someone you love?
The longer you have been with someone and loved them, the more difficult it is to let them go. You have become accustomed to having them in your life that being apart from them is not only difficult, it also feels alien to you. It will take years to remove all emotions and memories you have for someone.
How many years does it take to forget someone you love?
It varies from one person to another and the level of emotions that you feel for them. In most cases, the longer your relationship was or you’ve been in love with a person, the longer it takes to forget them.
How do you know if you’re meant to be with someone?
You just feel it when you are around this person. It feels light and natural, and you are happy spending time with them. Love should happen naturally, it should never be forced. You feel safe when you are around this person because you know you enjoy your time together.
How do you know if you’re not meant to be together?
There are several tell-tale signs to look for that indicate you are not meant to be with someone. It could be that your partner is not giving you the same level of love that you give, or isn’t showing you affection. If you are constantly fighting and are no longer happy together, then it could be a sign of incompatibility.