Signs He’s Not Into You

What are the signs he’s not into you, and how do you know if a guy you like feels the same way about you? 

This is one of the most challenging parts of meeting someone new and then trying to see if you have a potential for a relationship. Unfortunately, it is easy to convince yourself to believe something that you desperately want to happen. Make sure you know how to read the signs he’s not into you.

It can be difficult to admit when you are into this guy that he does not feel the same way as you do. You are physically attracted to him and want to spend time together. But what happens if he does not reciprocate your feelings and has even lost interest in you?

Take time to heed the warning signs and dating advice from a relationship expert. In this post, you will learn about the obvious signs to look out for so you do not end up in the friend zone.

What Are the Signs He’s Not Into You?

Things can be confusing at the start of any relationship when you are trying to read the signs that a guy is giving you. Does he like you back? Or does he enjoy simply spending time with you?

We’ve listed the top signs he’s not into you so you will know for sure when to keep spending time with him, or move on.

1. He Doesn’t Like Spending Time With You

This is one of the warning signs he’s not into you. If a guy likes you, he wants to spend most of his time with you. It shows that he is interested. Spending time with you is an opportunity to get to know you better and for you to get closer together.

If he is not showing interest in you and being part of your life, then it is a clear sign that he’s not into you. A lot of guys look at giving your relationship quality time as their love language. If he can’t do this simple thing, he is definitely not interested in you.

2. He is Seeing Other Women

Romantic relationships involve two people who have committed themselves to each other. However, it is a red flag when he gives you the go signal to see other men, and most especially if he is seeing other women.

A relationship should be built on trust and loyalty. If he cannot give that to you, you need to think twice about if you should pursue the relationship. Even talking to and flirting with other women should be reason enough for you to leave.

3. He Does Not Post Pictures With You

Whether you are in romantic relationships or just started dating, it is common for most guys to post pictures of the special girl in their life on social media. You need to think twice about how you fit into his life when he isn’t doing the same thing to you.

Nowadays, a lot of couples make their relationship “social media official” when they post pictures of their special someone on their accounts. If he hasn’t done this to you yet, there is a huge possibility that he does not plan on doing anytime soon.

4. He Isn’t Making Contact With You

Are you the one who has to make an effort to reach out and maintain communication? Does he not make the same effort to contact you? If you said yes to both questions, there is a high chance that he isn’t interested in you.

Guys normally text you good morning or ask you how your day was. These are sweet gestures that show they care about you. If you don’t hear anything from him unless you reach out to him first, you need to move on.

5. He Doesn’t Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a very sensual experience. It is intimate and leaves you feeling vulnerable. You can also tell if someone has feelings for you by the way they look at you.

If he does not like making eye contact or he does not give you the butterflies by the way he looks at you, this is one of the clear signs he’s not into you.

6. He Doesn’t Bring You to Significant Events

Sharing significant events in one’s life is a telling sign that someone is interested in you. If you are missing out on major events in his life, such as his birthday or graduation, he might not care about you at all.

It does not mean that you have to be present at every significant event, but you can tell when he wants to share these special moments with you or not.

7. He Isn’t a Bit Jealous When You Meet Other Men

Jealousy is a natural part of any romantic relationships. If a guy you are in a relationship with gets jealous, it means that he cares about you and does not want you to be with another man.

When a guy is not even jealous of other men, you failed to activate his hero instinct. It also means that he is not as emotionally invested in you or the relationship that you have.

8. He Likes to Keep His Emotional Distance

Emotional connection is something that you have when a person you’re interested with is reciprocating your feelings. You connect on a level that you cannot explain but rather feel. When you are looking for someone to be in a relationship with, you need to be aligned when it comes to your personality and interests. This is how you can build a strong emotional connection.

If a guy keeps emotional distance, it means that you are not compatible or that you are not aligned in terms of what you want from this relationship.

9. He Treats You Like Any Other Person

If a treats you like any other person, it’s one of the obvious signs he’s not into you. A guy makes an effort if he wants to make you feel special. If you are unable to distinguish how he treats you any other person he knows, then you are not special for him. It’s as simple as that.

10. He Does Not Make an Effort

A guy who makes an effort is a guy who intends to keep you in his life. Whether it is a small or big effort, the things that he does to impress you can show how he really feels about you.

If he is not making an effort to see you or take you out on a date, you need to take it as a red flag. He does not need to spend a lot of money on dates or take you to grandiose places. Even simple efforts can matter in a relationship.

11. He Doesn’t Like Making Plans With You

Does it seem like you are the only one making plans? Does he lack the effort to plan dates or any other activities that you can enjoy together? A relationship takes two to tango; if you are the only one paying attention to his interests and hobbies, then you better be moving on with your life.

12. He Does Not Talk About the Future With You

You don’t need to look too far ahead such as where you are getting married and how many kids you like to have. This is true when you just met and are still getting to know each other. But if he does not see a future with you, chances are he won’t talk about it with you either.

13. He Keeps Canceling On You

If he has canceled on you more than once, take it is a clear answer that he does not have interest in you. A guy who keeps on canceling on your dates should give you a reason to contemplate if you would be better off as friends rather than be romantic partners.

14. He Flirts With Other Girls

One of the obvious signs he’s not into you is when a guy flirts with other women. Flirting can often be easily dismissed as a non-harmful behavior, especially if there is no kissing or physical touch involved. However, flirting with other women while he is dating you is a sign of disrespect.

Don’t waste your time on this guy and look for others who you might be more compatible with!

15. He Does Not Spend Time to Get to Know You

If a guy has interest in you, he will take the time to get to know you. He does not care how big or small that detail is, if it’s about you then he wants to know.

On the flip side, one of the warning signs he’s not into you is when he does not want to know more about you. He does not know your full name, how many siblings you have, what you do for a living, and where you work, etc. These are important details that you normally know about someone you’re dating, or want to be in a relationship with.

Even if you have had conversations about these details before, if he does not remember these details is a serious red flag. It means he is not paying attention!

16. He Is Only Interested in Sex

A man who wants to spend time with you only to fulfill their carnal desires is not interested in a serious relationship. He only wants sex; he does not care about you or have feelings of affection towards you.

One of the serious signs he’s not into you and only cares about physical intimacy is when he only reaches out to you if he wants sex. It means you are his booty call and nothing more.

17. You Haven’t Met His Friends

Do you have common friends or has he not introduced you to his friends yet? If the latter applies to you, it could be a good sign that he’s not into you.

Aside from being public about your relationship on social media, another way to know if a guy truly wants you is if he brings you to meet his friends. Most guys like it when their girl shares common interests or has a good relationship with his friends.

18. He Does Not Show Affection in Public

You don’t need to engage in a public display of affection for you to know if he’s into you. However, affectionate gestures such as holding your hand or keeping you close to him when you walk side by side are indicative of how he feels about you. This is especially true of a new relationship: men tend to be excessively showy of their affection towards a woman.

If he is uncomfortable with showing affection towards you in public, this guy is not interested in you.

19. He Tells You to See Other Men

There is no more obvious sign he’s not into you than this! A guy who teases you with other men or encourages you to date other guys is definitely not into you.

20. You Just Know It

All of the signs he’s not into you that are listed above boils down to this – you know when a guy is not interested in a relationship with you if he does not make you feel special. You need to have a strong emotional connection with a guy you are dating. If it’s not there, you just can’t fake it.

What to Do When He’s Not Into You

Did any of the signs he’s not into you confirm your suspicion that he might not be interested in a relationship? Don’t despair! If a guy likes you, then he will make it known to you. Stop wasting your time and focus on something more productive instead. It’s not the end of the world for you!

The best thing you can do right now is not to go looking for other men. There is a huge possibility that you will end up with the wrong guy again if you do that. You must learn to be patient and wait for what you deserve.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy and makes you happy. It could be traveling, reading, painting, or spending time with your friends or family. Try not to focus on finding another guy or a new relationship right away.

It’s also important to keep your dignity intact. It could be tempting to reach out to the guy and ask him why he did not want you. However, you don’t want to look like you are begging for his time and attention. It’s natural to feel angry, frustrated, or hurt, especially if you think that the guy led you on. But you must focus on your life instead and make him realize what he’d lost when he did not make an effort.

You can also seek the advice of your friends or family. There are instances when you see the red flag but you refuse to acknowledge them. The opinion of the people whom you trust will give you the clarity that you need to move on from your current situation.

Conclusion

The fear of rejection hangs over your head and it makes you want to cling on to hope that he will reciprocate your feelings. It is not an easy situation to be in but you do not want to seem desperate either.

It’s best if you refer to the signs he’s not into you that were outlined here so that can accept the truth for what it is rather than try to change how he feels about you. If you recognize the signs above, it’s time to move on and find other men who’s willing to date you and make you realize what you’re worth.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. How do you know if a guy likes you or is just being nice?

A. You will know if he is just being nice and friendly if he talks to you in a casual way. Like when he asks about your day or what you are being up to lately. He will not get too personal with his questions. However, if a guy really likes you and is interested in you, he will ask personal questions like the name of your pet, your interests, and hobbies, your favorite books and movies, or even your dreams and goals.

Q. How can you tell by body language if a guy likes you?

A. One subtle way to test if he likes you is to give him a light touch. You can touch his arm playfully while laughing at his jokes or stories and see how he reacts. If he reciprocates, then you may have the green light. With that said, if he actively tries to touch you during your interaction, then that is a clear sign that he likes you.

Q. How do you know if a guy likes you secretly?

A. While every guy is different, the language of attraction is almost always universal. For example, if he constantly looks at you when you are not looking, and starts to look away when you notice him looking at you, then he probably likes you but doesn’t want you to know.

Also, if you have been in constant communication lately, you will notice that he likes talking to you every day and never talks about other girls.

Q. How do guys show attraction?

A. Like women, guys use body language to show attraction (sometimes even unknowingly). The most obvious tell-tale sign is eye contact. If a guy is interested in you, he will show attraction by trying to hold your gaze whenever he can. He may also check you out when he thinks you are unaware, be it a quick glance at your behind or cleavage.

Obviously, if a guy is particularly shy, then he may avoid eye contact. Shy guys may also avoid staring at your body as they don’t want to be perceived as a pervert. For this type of guy, you can tell he likes you if you notice him breaking eye contact by quickly looking down.

Q. What are the first signs of attraction?

A. The language of attraction is almost the same in every culture. The most obvious sign is through the eyes. If his pupils dilate when they look at you, then that is the most obvious sign of attraction. This is a body’s physiological response to attraction. It is comparable to sexual arousal since it is triggered by the surge of dopamine and oxytocin in the brain – the happy and love hormones.

Another tell-tale sign is blushing and flushed skin. This is another involuntary response of the human body that can indicate attraction. It results from excitement or a sudden rush of adrenaline.

Q. How do you get a guy to admit he likes you?

A. As they way, if you never ask, then you’ll never know. Obviously, in this context, that is easier said than done. So before you pop the question, make sure you have a clear idea of the answer first. Thus, make sure the guy is open and ready for such conversation, get him to open up by developing trust, listen to him, but avoid smothering him. Fawning all over him may push him away, even if he likes you.

Once you have established trust and are comfortable with each other, you can ask him (in a charming way) if he likes you. It’s a big step, yes, but nothing bad will come by simply asking. If he is shy about it, then tell him you like him. This may encourage him to open up.

Q. How do you know you have chemistry with someone?

A. It is usually easy to tell if you have good chemistry with someone. But, it is also extremely easy to allow your bias to keep you from getting to know a person more. However, real chemistry is hard to fake.

If you feel drawn to each other without apparent reason, even if you barely know each other, then that is a sign of good chemistry. Also, when making and keeping eye contact feels comfortable and natural, that means you have no problem being intimate with each other.

Q. Can you feel if someone is attracted to you?

A. Yes. If they like touching you while talking, that’s a tell-tale sign. This is because touch triggers the release of oxytocin (also known as the love hormone) in the brain.

However, it is important to note that not all touches are the same, and some people are naturally touchy. In this case, you should pay closer attention to their eye gaze. You can tell if a person is attracted to you if he/she subconsciously tries to engage in mutual eye contact as much as possible.

Q. What do men find most attractive in a woman?

A. Believe it or not, it’s not just beauty. A handful of studies show men are attracted to women with a good sense of humor. This doesn’t mean that women should have good jokes in their arsenal; rather, they should just be able to respond to jokes and laugh at them.

Moreover, men like women who are confident, independent, and risk-takers. In terms of looks, most men prefer a slightly more mature appearance. This is because mature women have more attractive personalities, and fewer feelings of irrational shame and insecurities.

Also, most men prefer women with long shiny hair. A particular study shows women with blonde and luscious locks seem to have an upper hand.

Lucius Nothing

Lucius has been slinging tarot cards professionally since 2014. He’s taken the tarot to places most wouldn’t think of: His best-known patrons include Torture Garden, The Dark Circus Party, Handel & Hendrix, A Curious Invitation and The Candlelight Club, where he has been resident tarot reader for the past half-decade. His writing on divination, magic and creativity has been published in Sabbat Magazine and on Medium.

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